Saturday, November 26, 2005

Misunderstood

Video Of The Day : BI RAIN MTV

My life is fraught with misunderstandings.

Father Daniel
When I was younger in my early adolescent age, I was noted in school as Father Daniel. My classmates could not understand my devotion towards God and my intense passion for His people and His works. On the contrary, while I was in Church, I was treated with respect and adoration from fellow christian peers. The intimate knowledge that I had of God was graciously shown through my behaviour and towards my fellow school mates. The former understood. The latter did not.
Thus, Father Daniel was birthed. 12 years old in primary 6 to be exact. I was in someways treated like an outcast simply because I professed God on my lips and behaved in loving ways which few could identify with. Fellow students assumed that I wanted to gain attention by literally behaving in an uncool manner.
They didn't understand.
I loved God. I remembered my Sunday School teacher, Mr Colin, asking me of the 5 fold ministries, which I would like to be. The 5 fold ministries were : Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Pastor and Teacher. Or we could even choose to be just helpers. I said Apostle. Apostles are staunch believers who serve God in absolute full capacity. Known to be of the highest calling in the Christian Circles. Few can be apostles. Very few. Yet I grew up loving God to such a huge extent. Maybe the intensity and the passion I had, when shown forth to people around me, it got misunderstood easily. I didn't feel the need to act suave and cool. I was popular in school for my athleticism, however, I also did receive unwanted attention in the form of disgust from fellow peers regarding my intimate devotion to God.
Misunderstandings? Indeed.
Romeo, Romeo, Where Art Thou?
I grew up with an extremely strong notion of love. I believed in TRUE LOVE. The existence of real genuine love would surely exist I thought. Something amazingly strong and powerful as the idea of love would fill my life with the ultimate happiness, joy and laughter. The love I am referring to, is not God's love but more of earthly love between two romantically linked individuals. Throughout my teenage years, I had only one thing in mind, Love. I believed when I love someone or someone loves me, if we were to enter into a compromise of a relationship, it would be the loveliest thing to happen. Indeed it happened. I fell in love.
I fell in love 4 times in 13 years. Also fell out of love 4 times. Learnt that True Love is really difficult. Whom we thought were our soul mates, turned out to be cheaters, liars, mother-f***ing son of a bit**. It sure hurt really bad then. The point here is that, I still believed in love and being such a sucker for love, people around me didn't understand. Yes, many mentioned money is important. But it surely isn't the most important thing to me. Money is a need. It is a tool. It is a means to an end. Not the end itself.
Love is. Love is everything. I could sacrifice for love. I could die for love.
Friends think I am emotionally weak. Maybe. Friends think I have got my priorities wrong. Maybe. Friends think my concept of love is outdated and no longer holds true in today's modern society. Maybe.
Somehow it's always noted that I am trying too much, to hard and too long for love to be true. Peers sneer and laugh at my preposterous declaration of love. They didn't understand my heart and my nature. I didn't feel a need to join them in acting cool and super savvy. I had a mind of my own.
So there, getting misunderstood for showing my girlfriends too much love (pampering?), too much time (Friends not important?) and too much efforts(Doing so much yet failing in my relationship). They think all I really want is love and nothing else. Please........ sigh...... I do know I need to work to make a decent living. I know I still have other friends who care for me too. I understand. But they didn't understand.
Misunderstandings? Indeed.
Misunderstandings are a great source of pain and heartaches. It can be fatal and destroy a genuine friendship. It surely can destroy love. I hate misunderstandings. Believe me, misunderstandings mixed with Jealousy, Anger and Stubborness will create HELL. And Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned......
Keeping Misunderstandings At Bay
3 Cs are crucial.
1. Clear Communication
Practically I endeavour to speak very good English so I could communicate clearly and effectively with my peers and love ones. Good language definitely does help. Communicating our thoughts and ideas across clearly with good language skills will lessen the probability of an erupting misunderstanding.
2. Character
Good characters tend to receive trust more. If one is of a good integrity and has a strong reputation, sometimes, they do not even need to explain and they would be cleared of any misunderstandings. Its strange sometimes but good characters will always find its way into the hearts of many.
3. Courage
When all else fails, it takes courage to face up and clear a misunderstanding. It takes courage to walk up to a love one holding a bouquet of roses and lilies, kneel and tell her in front of the world that she is the one he loves. There is no substitute to courage. It comes from within one's soul and only when you want something enough, hunger for it enough, desperate for it enough, then courage itself will manifest. When it does, amazing stories will be told for years to come.
"Misunderstanding is but a temporary glitch in the simple minds of humans"
So when was the last time you had a Big Misunderstanding?

29 Comments:

Blogger Righteous said...

Thanks for your adding of my photo link.

12:32 AM  
Blogger Righteous said...

I remembered that the last time I had a big misunderstanding was the:

1.StarLand vs the cute bird brain
2.StarLand vs the Plude Nations

HAHA! So long ago, I almost forgot it until you mentioned the misunderstandings.......

12:36 AM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

Damn..... yea... it sucks. I remember. Blog wars! Hahahah.... No problems on the pictorial link. But i rather link ur face la.

There are bound to be misunderstandings in life. Its inevitable. We can only lessen it.

12:59 AM  
Blogger J.J. said...

Bravo! You've done it again!

I admire your good skill in English!!!

A guy who is devoted to love sure will find his true love one day ;)

3:00 AM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

Thank u JJ. Glad u like what u read. Yes, I am devoted to love and jus like what U say, I will find my true love on bended knees.

4:09 AM  
Blogger 孺子牛 said...

I waited four days for this posting but it's worth it.

Keep posting but please blog less if you are busy with your 'love', that is your priority.

9:24 AM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

Hahahaha, Emperor Qin, U never fail to make my day! Thank you. Glad u found this read interesting. I will keep pursuing my love according to my heart. I have been really busy, that's why didn't blog. Thank u for waiting.

12:52 PM  
Anonymous Lydia Hedy said...

Hey dude,

I know u've thru a few major heartbreaks. I've seen u down.... so darn down and broken that it broke our hearts too.

I've always prayed that you be strong & stayed strong in those hurting and heart wrenching moments. There's always a season for everything. They made up of chapters in your life. They were in your path because God allowed it and wanted you to learn some precious & priceless lessons. They can MAKE u or BREAK u. Which have u chosen? Have u learnt anything?

My dearest, misunderstandings can happen anytime anywhere. Most importantly, u must have the STRENGTH of CHARACTER. I've learnt one big thing .... and it helps sweeten life and makes life less complicated ..... that is .... "i don't give a damn now to what pp think or say about me! As long as my conscious is clear and I'm true to myself & the pp around me, the rest are immaterial."

Remember, keep your eyes wide open AND do not be blinded by love. Seek God, seek wisdom ....... in HIS time, he'll send that chosen one to u, even without u seeking her out!!! U don't believe me? Well, nevermind. Just believe HIM will do!!!

6:14 PM  
Blogger Hiao Auntie said...

aiya next time choose girlfriends must be more careful lah... dunno why you can kena the "cheaters, liars, motherf--kers and bit--es" 4 times!!!!!!

anyway, its good to know when you love, you love with you ALL.... seems to me that usually guys are the ones who cheated

12:20 AM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

Dear Big Sister Hedy,
guess we are one and the same. Suckers for love. Yes, God must have had His reasons for allowing me to be the Deliberate Prodigal Son. I have ventured out willingly and seen the world for myself. I am still glad I did. I now know that my character has stood strong in the test of time, environment and people. I am glad u are around too. Ur advice to me is absolutely invaluable. Yes, God will give me someone fiercely loyal, totally true and faithful. I know He will. Thank you.

Auntie Hiao,
men sometimes are like cows. We are quite idiots at times. However, I have observed that it is usually the gals who are doing and initiating all the break ups. Apparently, most gals have grown beautiful and they are better adapt in using cosmetic make up to beautify themselves thus men's heart flutter easily. When attention comes, all hell breaks loose, and infidelity becomes the centre focus. Yes, i love to love with all of my love to the one I love. Its me. I still believe in true love. I will not give up. Never......

4:31 AM  
Blogger J.J. said...

Jade,

Yeah, keep up your good work, can't wait to read more your postings, and maybe, your successful love story ;)

8:12 AM  
Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

some girls are just not worth it..

they alwiz think the world revolve them.

open ur eyes bigbig, jf... not everyone's worth crying over.

or even feel.

9:54 AM  
Blogger old beng said...

Now that you are in love with an important person in your life, everything becomes secondary.

Enjoy your marriage life, jade.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Bee said...

Let me add 2 more 'Cs' here:

Control - control our tongue so we will say words that bless instead of curse

Christ - we need Christ to give us wisdom in our relationship with people


Cheers!

1:35 PM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

JJ,
Thank u for ur waiting up for my posts!

Spinnee,
I have gone wrong 4 times in 13 yrs. I have learnt to look out for certain characteristics which endures time and testing. Sometimes the best things are hardest to get. Of course I hope all things will turn out well. Nothing is 100%. Who knows, maybe I could die the next day right? Yes, I need to open my eyes big big. I believe I have and hope things turn out well. I am no superman too. So gotta pray and hope everything turns out right. I appreciate ur concern, Spinnee. I thank u for caring. Will do my best, live my best and hopefully not disappoint anyone.

BENG! Wat marriage life??? Pls loh? kekeke..... no one wants me la.... But God willing, all things are possible.

Bee,
yes.... i have learnt that power without control is useless. Control one's tongue is important because words are like a double edged sword. It can cut and hurt people. Christ....... Always in my heart.

Cheers!

2:43 PM  
Blogger Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

Interesting comments you have here. I believe if you have the patience, all good things will come to past.

I have tons of misunderstandings, even from people who do not know me. People like to make assumptions about me - but I really don't give a shit.

I Am What I Am. :)

So Jade - Let me give you three other Cs that will keep all misunderstanding at bay.

1) Care - If you care for someone GENUINELY, and not try to put up a false front, you will hardly be subjected to misunderstandings. Looking at your blog, you have so many caring readers. And I am sure you care for them just as much. Don't think misunderstandings can arise if such tender care exist among two individuals. cos you care too much to ever wanna hurt that person.

2) Contentment

If you are contented with whatever you have, no misunderstandings can ever get to you. Be around with people who inspires you and stay away from those who bring you down. Learn to differentiate between the real and fake. Give blessings to what you have, and thanks to what you don't. If someone misunderstands you, it's not the end. It's the beginning of a journey to rediscover yourself - and understanding how you can be a better person.

Ultimately, be contented with who you are - if you know you have done your very best.


3) Commitment

Commit yourself to understand why people behave or react in a certain way. Jumping to conclusions and making judgements will only deepen the misunderstanding. Look before you leap. Think before you act. Assimilate before you react.

Commitment includes investing the time and effort to delve deeper into the psyche of people who matters to you. If they don't mean anything to you, any form of misunderstandings should not even bother you - cos they are simply a big waste of time.

But for people you love and care about - genuinely - make that commitment that they are worth the effort. Once you know more about them, how their mind works, how they process information, how they make assumptions, what their possible reactions would be, it would be very difficult to misunderstand them. And vice versa.

Your good friends should also thrive on understanding you, than throw themselves into a well of misunderstandings jus because they could not be bothered to try and UNDERSTAND.

No relationship is a one way traffic - so be selective of whom you call friends. Be critical of whom you wanna give your trust to. And be mindful of what you want out of every relationship.

Take care.

12:19 AM  
Blogger old beng said...

jade
My apology, I got mixed up between you and another blogger, old man like me tends to be blur like sotong at times. Pai say.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

Old Beng its ok. Maybe its prophetic.

Elvina,
ur words bring to one much to think about. Frankly, the more Cs there are, the better it gets. I quite agree with u on your pointers. Usually its good friends who have little to misunderstand us since they r already "good friends". Its the "friends" that need us to be more patient, more contented with their behaviour and committing more of our understanding to them, and thus, there would probably be lesser misunderstandings.

I understand where u r coming from. It is always regretful if there are misunderstandings. May the Lord open our minds to understand more each new day.

Thank you.

9:05 PM  
Blogger blueapple said...

It seems to me tat the guys are cheater..

But now wat century liao. Girls or guys... they cheat.

Hmmm....~

Love myself better. xD

10:28 PM  
Blogger old beng said...

jade
Yes and I can see that in the very near future, you will find someone special in your life.

11:08 AM  
Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said...

no update???

7:55 PM  
Blogger Righteous said...

He is busy lah.

Sqeeze some efforts to get that year end bonus.

8:04 PM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

Blue Apple, U r damn funny.... Everyone likes to cheat. Dunno why. Yea u r right. Love our selves better. hahahah...

Old Beng, for once u may be right.

Spinnee Girl, Sorry I have been hell busy. Went up to Genting. Will post about it soon. Apologies for the long wait.

Starland, Me no bonus one leh.....

10:48 PM  
Blogger Righteous said...

No bonus? Then got salary lah...

hahaha!

11:10 PM  
Blogger Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

One major REASON for all misunderstandings is people like to make ASSUMPTIONS and jump to CONCLUSIONS - without knowing the FULL story.

These people are the cause of all unhappiness because of 1) their incapibilities to keep their mouth shut; 2) their insensitivity of not being smart enough NOT to gossip about other people; and last but not least 3) their immaturity of spreading the same assumptions and FALSE gossips down the grapevine.

Such people sickens me.

3:56 PM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

Its a sad thing when such issues happen. Never ASSUME. Coz U will make an ASS out of U and ME =ASS U ME.

Why not confront or ask the parties involved directly for relevant info? If no relevent info can be provided, then should we not learn to respect the privacies of other people directly involved in the issues? I do not agree to spreading of rumours or gossips about people when the situation cannot be possibly clear to the talkers.

This kinda situation is a clear case of Misunderstanding. Literally.

4:39 PM  
Blogger Righteous said...

There are too man of this kind of person in the society. That's why it is so stressful to work outside.

5:48 PM  
Blogger Kurakat said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Kurakat said...

I have reread your most recent 2 entries a couple of times. And honestly, somehow, I am very able to empathise with you.

For one thing, I believe in true love too. Pretty much the way you do.. from what I can glimpse from your writings...

We seemed to have gone through pretty much the same things, and misunderstood frequently.

The latest one was fairly recent. Check out my blog entry on the which is mightier, Sword or Pen. Despite my earnestness, the other camp insists that I am a loser who cant outtalk them when in fact, things are pretty much different from what he, the blogger whom I added comments on, thinks.

Anyway, the world is always filled with peope who do not understand. And some are filled with pride and foolishness so much so that I believe only God may be able to help them.

Nevertheless, I am glad that there are people who understands. These people I treasure and I love.

Btw, I have a book on Relationships (not jus on romance, but on other relationships that can shape our lives). IMHO, its a very good book. I will like to lend it to u when I complete reading it.

But will you like to borrow it? =) If you do, pls lemme know and I'll pass it to you. =)

2:47 PM  

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