Monday, November 07, 2005

My Secondary Days : Downfall

Video Of The Day : Guang Liang - Tong Hua

1989 - 1992

My Secondary School Days

I did academically very well in Primary 6 but somehow or rather, the decline of my studies were evident in the years leading up to sec 4. It was very clearly attributed to 4 main factors. Student's Council, Sports, Church and Love. Will touch on these areas soon.

*The pictures I put up here have absolutely no relevance to this topic today. Its just some pictures I didn't have time to put up last time. So just look to enjoy while reading*

In Sec 1, the Student's Council approached me and invited me for a "chat" session. I had thought it sounds fun and thus I went. I was seated right in the centre of a room facing a panel of Student's Council. There were 5 councillors posing questions to me. There and then I realised what this was all about. They wanted me to join the Student's Council in Maris Stella High. I was actually a Prefect in Primary School. I was to be promoted to Head Prefect during early primary 6 but I quit because of studies as well as the fact that I didn't like the red arm-band around my left biceps then. Stupid reasons but yes I did quit. Prefect Board's in-charge whom we called Mistress, urged me to reconsider my decision then, I didn't reconsider.

Thus in sec 1, I didn't wanna join the Council because it was alot of work. However, The Council's President who is 2 years my senior kept urging me to join although I showed a reluctant self. I was curious then why would they keep asking me to join when many others were interested. They remarked that they have heard of my reputation I garnered in Primary school and were extremely impressed with my performance and really wanted me on board the Council. After much persuasion, against my better judgement, I decided to lend a helping hand and joined the council. I was then a Student's Councillor until end of sec 3. Responsibilities piled up with more and more work to be done. It surely did take up alot of my time.

I mentioned this little area of my life because it showed what sort of a person I was when I was young. Full of moral and ethical idealogy with a tremendous sense of responsibility. This would in turn show you how I have evolved over the years until now that I am 29. I was the sort of kid that teachers loved and cherished. Popular in school as you might call it. Being a true blue school team athletics member somehow represented eliticism. A class of superiority above my peers.

Frequently, I held positions of responsibilities ranging from a councillor, class monitor, committee chairman and captain of football team. I have laden myself with too much responsibilities in which would eventually lead to my downfall. Sad to admit but true. I felt proud in those days that I was so demanded and popular amongst many. Its was somehow like an honour to be recognised by so many. Little did I know all these were more than I can chew.

My time was further stretched by commitments in the church. I was baptised when I was 12 by my sole decision. I had chosen a name to compliment my existing name. I had asked God which name would he like me to have. Isaiah. My lawful name is Daniel. Isaiah became my baptism name. Thus from then on, I am Isaiah Daniel. I realised most people had problems pronouncing this name, so I would use Daniel if I like the new person I was getting to know or I would use Isaiah if I didn't like knowing the person. It was because they would have problems remembering that name!

In the church, His Sanctuary Service, I was with the Youth group as a Youth Coordinator. It was made up of teenagers from 13 to 19 then. I joined the Youth Coordinator's course and graduated there to be a youth leader. I had literally run a group with 7 members under me. My group was then called "PURE HEART". I called it so. Loved it. In those days in church, we organised mission trips and many camping excursions and group outings. I was always heavily involved. I loved the church life and of course God. Aspects of Christianity were extremely evident in my life. I know its a relationship and not a religion to me. In the house-church or what some would call it, cell group, I was also the guitarist. Many times I had led my house-church comprising of about 15 members to worship. This is why most of the songs I know on my guitar are christian church songs. My favourite is "Into Your Courts". Oh, I could pluck that piece. Kekeke.....

My friday nights were taken up by house church. Saturday by Youth Ministry. Sunday by church. Weekdays were taken up by Student's Council, School Team Athletics and Football. My downfall as you can see, was my steady decline in my studies. It was still not my final blow until sec 3 when I tasted my first relationship.

There were quite a few girls in church who liked me then. I was very potential and loved God more than most. My heart had shown it and my deeds have proven it. But I remained single until someone came along and stole my heart. Little did I know, it was an older woman.

Della was 3 years older than me. I was 15 and she was 18. She was just gonna graduate from ITE and were to begin working as a secretary. She lived in Bukit Batok while I live in Serangoon. We were miles and miles apart. She liked me alot as with alot of others. Somehow there was this time we went for mission trip in Kota Tinggi, Malaysia that we had ample opportunities to chat. We got to know each other very very well. When we returned to Singapore, we were very close. We were so close that others started speculating us as a couple. I was very tall and mature looking then so it kinda worked out although there was quite an age gap there. Believe it or not, we were together 3 years.

During that 3 years, it must have been a toil on her. She was working. I was studying. She was a budding and growing girl who had dreams of having a better life. I was just finishing O Levels then. I still had to go through A Levels and probably University if I was smart enough. The relationship ended during my A level days when I was 17. We went on 3 years. Sighz....But I will leave the breakup story to the next post of my life.

Thus the final nail to the coffin came in the form of a new first relationship love life. So much time was spent in Sports, Council, Church and my new love life. My studies went downhill and eventually flopped. I knew myself. I admit now where I went wrong. When I was that age, I just could not see the whole picture. Why the heck do you think I am attempting to keep a low profile now? So that I would have more time to do the things I love. I have lost out much then.

I knew I was not a stupid person. Just didn't spend the required amount of time cherishing my studies. The only subject I concentrated on was English. I loved English. Regardless of whether it is the spoken language or written language although my spoken is alot stronger, I loved it. I entered my first English Creative writing competition in secondary school and won 2nd Prize for Poems Category. The prize was a book from the School. It was titled, The Wave (Some crappy brain-wash story). It was memorable then. It had meant my interest in the English language was paying off.

There. With my strength in English, it simply wasn't enough. I floundered in practically most subjects. It was really hard juggling so much activities with so little time. Eventually O Levels came. Results were really bad. Really bad. 21 points for 6 subjects with 18 for 5 subjects. Could only get into Marine engineering course at the Poly or Centralised Institutes for A Levels. Finally, I was posted to Seletar Institute to do my 3 yr A level course. It was my 7th choice.

I remembered vividly, I cried and cried and cried. I lamented against God. Why? Why? Why? With so much that I had put in, I had achieved so little. I remembered crying myself, tears pouring while I was sitting by myself on my couch all alone in the early afternoon from school. I was holding and strumming my guitar whilst my tears wet the guitar. The results slip in my hand had gotten wet. I cried my heart out. I felt my future was slipping from my hands. It was the very 1st time I felt that God wasn't there.

Eventually I still had to pick myself up and move on. Of course there were other things that were happening concurrently in my secondary school days but these were the stuffs that deserve the most mention. As you can read, my life story isn't just about proud achievements but it is also about my downfall in some areas of my life.

There was one bright spark though. I became a Qualified Diver. Open water Diver. Qualified Canoeist. Outward Bound Participant. Gold standards in Physical Fitness Tests. Also a qualified school debater, English of course.

The next post, I will talk more about how the 1st relationship I had, went. It was just heart-wrenching even thinking about it. What the heck...... sighz..... Since its over, it has becomed just a story, so until then...... hope you guys know me better. Apologies if my entries bore anyone to death. Its my life. My unique experiences.

Till then....... So long.......

"Failure isn't failure unless you don't learn from it"

" When you affirm big, believe big and pray big, big things happen"


Blogger brokenpromises said...

When tings don go ur way u blame GOD for nt being there for u. IF you never get what u wan. GOD have other plans for u de.

2:41 PM  
Blogger blueapple said...

Wow.. i'll be awaiting for the next post! =)

2:49 PM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

Precious Valerie aka Broken Promise,

When I was a child, I thought like a child, I talked like a child. Yes I blamed God there and then. But I have grown to realise my faults. Thus u see me mentioning in my post that there r 4 main areas that resulted in my downfall in academic grades. If I had still blame God now, then I would not have written that. I jus wanted to speak the truth. And let it all out. God always have plans. Too many unknown plans so I dun even bother talking abt it. He is wonderful this I know. But I am not. Maybe u can tell me what plans they are? kekeke.....

Blue Apple,
U looking forward to the next post? So soon aye? Can't wait to hear how and what the heck happened to my 1st relationship? My post so long, doesn't it bore u? Kekeke..... My next post .... hmmm.... i wonder how much to reveal.... should i strip till its down to undergarments? or strip naked in my story-telling (No Holds Barred)? Still thinking...... However, thank u for kind kind patience.

5:25 PM  
Blogger brokenpromises said...

i m not GOD, i donnoe. Even u donnoe what plans GOD have for you, how can i noe??

5:32 PM  
Blogger 孺子牛 said...

Cried? What to cry?? Your results are far more better than mine.

I regretted that I was then too playful. When I reached 30, then started to go for all kinds of courses.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

Great entry here. Reading it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable though - cos it's so unlike you to bare your heart like that - to EVERYONE.

For me it's common u see haha..

Some of your "achievements" reminded me of my school days. i guess being Capricorns, it's only natural. We always strive to be the best - and we always end up in leadership positions. Not always a good thing, but it's a common trait.

Well - good to rewind and look back on what has moulded you and made you what you are today.

As my friends always say, what couldn't kill you would only make you stronger.

6:28 PM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

That's it BP, let us just live from day to day that which God so much bless us. I am grateful that I could already come so far in life. We all make mistakes, I made quite a few..... who didn't? I am glad that I could still recall some of the facts and incidences that took place. Someday, memory will fail me thus I write it down. Hopefully Someday I can archive all these down, turn it into a life journal in print and slot it in one of the bookshelves in Elvina's Great Library...... Kekeke...

I came from a very reputable school. Should not be faring so badly. Yet i disappointed many. I know I can do it but I didn't. I have no excuses. As for u, U r married with kids! Ur life is quite complete i must say. It looks good on u anyway. Now all u need to do is focus on ur job and make more money! Then treat us all to a solid Blogger's nite! Waiting for u to strike 4D, toto or Sweep! Kekeke.....

My Dear Dear Dear Elvina,
Hmmmm...... really? u didn't expect me to bare my soul out? I did. I want to. Read while u can. Who knows when this blog will shut? Maybe someday blogspot will close? kekeke.... But seriously, I dun subscribe to feedburner so I dun talk to EVERYONE. Jus whoever stumbles onto this blog, if they r interested to know who I am, who I was or who I will be in the future then let this be my historical journal and daily journal.

After reading it, how do u see me now? Sometimes I think to myself should I reveal so much. There r somethings i wonder how others will perceive it. Like u say, people and readers can become judgemental. Its my history, Its done. I cannot do anything to change it. Mistakes were made so forgive me if I had be so blunt to admit my own mistakes. I still think, The Greatest Courage In Life Is To Admit We Were Wrong And Made A Mistake.

Being Capricorns, as I do tend to agree, that we are both rather similar in many ways. We are both rather enterprising in our school days. Natural? Could be.... I am glad if u had wanted to know who i was, who I am and who I might be in future then maybe the answers lie in all these post.

This is the real thing. Real answers to any questions u might have to knowing me. If there are any unanswered questions, u could always ask. I hope like u say, I will become stronger if whatever doesn't kill me. Thank you my good friend. U know I treasure u. Shouldn't even need to say it too rite?

10:04 PM  
Blogger brokenpromises said...

what is there to that's it abt? U ask me a question i answer nia ah... U ask me a question that you urself also go no ideal so hw can i noe leh... *smile sweetly*

10:45 PM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

*Cluck! Cluck! Cluck!*



11:11 PM  
Blogger El@inE said...

I always seemed to b laggin many comments already den i read the post.(bt late than nv rite?)

I read somewhere, "Among all the words that describe sadness, If Only is the sadest among them all"

This saying I believe. So many If only I had known this,that. So,learnt to be...grateful for what u have.
-Ppl grumble that roses have thorns. I m Grateful that thorns have roses-

_Big SmilE_

12:55 AM  
Blogger Jade Falcon Elite said...

Well said Elaine. I dun regret my actions. I knew where i went wrong. The point is me KNOWING where EXACTLY i went wrong. How often is it that people make mistakes, and yet dun exactly know where they went wrong? I am grateful for what I have achieved up to now. My life's story is no huge drama or controversy. Its simply a true account of an ordinary Singaporean.


12:59 AM  
Blogger blueapple said...

Hahaha.. ah boh then.. i'm interested to know people's love life. Bore me? Ya lo.. doesnt it bored u to type so much? Wonder how long u took to post the entry.. Keke.. ;b

11:35 PM  

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