Saturday, November 26, 2005

Misunderstood

Video Of The Day : BI RAIN MTV

My life is fraught with misunderstandings.

Father Daniel
When I was younger in my early adolescent age, I was noted in school as Father Daniel. My classmates could not understand my devotion towards God and my intense passion for His people and His works. On the contrary, while I was in Church, I was treated with respect and adoration from fellow christian peers. The intimate knowledge that I had of God was graciously shown through my behaviour and towards my fellow school mates. The former understood. The latter did not.
Thus, Father Daniel was birthed. 12 years old in primary 6 to be exact. I was in someways treated like an outcast simply because I professed God on my lips and behaved in loving ways which few could identify with. Fellow students assumed that I wanted to gain attention by literally behaving in an uncool manner.
They didn't understand.
I loved God. I remembered my Sunday School teacher, Mr Colin, asking me of the 5 fold ministries, which I would like to be. The 5 fold ministries were : Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Pastor and Teacher. Or we could even choose to be just helpers. I said Apostle. Apostles are staunch believers who serve God in absolute full capacity. Known to be of the highest calling in the Christian Circles. Few can be apostles. Very few. Yet I grew up loving God to such a huge extent. Maybe the intensity and the passion I had, when shown forth to people around me, it got misunderstood easily. I didn't feel the need to act suave and cool. I was popular in school for my athleticism, however, I also did receive unwanted attention in the form of disgust from fellow peers regarding my intimate devotion to God.
Misunderstandings? Indeed.
Romeo, Romeo, Where Art Thou?
I grew up with an extremely strong notion of love. I believed in TRUE LOVE. The existence of real genuine love would surely exist I thought. Something amazingly strong and powerful as the idea of love would fill my life with the ultimate happiness, joy and laughter. The love I am referring to, is not God's love but more of earthly love between two romantically linked individuals. Throughout my teenage years, I had only one thing in mind, Love. I believed when I love someone or someone loves me, if we were to enter into a compromise of a relationship, it would be the loveliest thing to happen. Indeed it happened. I fell in love.
I fell in love 4 times in 13 years. Also fell out of love 4 times. Learnt that True Love is really difficult. Whom we thought were our soul mates, turned out to be cheaters, liars, mother-f***ing son of a bit**. It sure hurt really bad then. The point here is that, I still believed in love and being such a sucker for love, people around me didn't understand. Yes, many mentioned money is important. But it surely isn't the most important thing to me. Money is a need. It is a tool. It is a means to an end. Not the end itself.
Love is. Love is everything. I could sacrifice for love. I could die for love.
Friends think I am emotionally weak. Maybe. Friends think I have got my priorities wrong. Maybe. Friends think my concept of love is outdated and no longer holds true in today's modern society. Maybe.
Somehow it's always noted that I am trying too much, to hard and too long for love to be true. Peers sneer and laugh at my preposterous declaration of love. They didn't understand my heart and my nature. I didn't feel a need to join them in acting cool and super savvy. I had a mind of my own.
So there, getting misunderstood for showing my girlfriends too much love (pampering?), too much time (Friends not important?) and too much efforts(Doing so much yet failing in my relationship). They think all I really want is love and nothing else. Please........ sigh...... I do know I need to work to make a decent living. I know I still have other friends who care for me too. I understand. But they didn't understand.
Misunderstandings? Indeed.
Misunderstandings are a great source of pain and heartaches. It can be fatal and destroy a genuine friendship. It surely can destroy love. I hate misunderstandings. Believe me, misunderstandings mixed with Jealousy, Anger and Stubborness will create HELL. And Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned......
Keeping Misunderstandings At Bay
3 Cs are crucial.
1. Clear Communication
Practically I endeavour to speak very good English so I could communicate clearly and effectively with my peers and love ones. Good language definitely does help. Communicating our thoughts and ideas across clearly with good language skills will lessen the probability of an erupting misunderstanding.
2. Character
Good characters tend to receive trust more. If one is of a good integrity and has a strong reputation, sometimes, they do not even need to explain and they would be cleared of any misunderstandings. Its strange sometimes but good characters will always find its way into the hearts of many.
3. Courage
When all else fails, it takes courage to face up and clear a misunderstanding. It takes courage to walk up to a love one holding a bouquet of roses and lilies, kneel and tell her in front of the world that she is the one he loves. There is no substitute to courage. It comes from within one's soul and only when you want something enough, hunger for it enough, desperate for it enough, then courage itself will manifest. When it does, amazing stories will be told for years to come.
"Misunderstanding is but a temporary glitch in the simple minds of humans"
So when was the last time you had a Big Misunderstanding?

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Tribute To Jade's Blog Readers Part 2

Thank you for waiting. Here's the rest.

1.
Blue Apple :
"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, it is the Realization of how much you already have". This is Blue Apple's blog slogan and it does bring about the idea of being contented and being greedy. I could not quite remember how Blue Apple came to my blog. However, her comments always touch me especially when I closed my blog. Then now reopening, she still cheers me on readily and warmly. I am touched. Shirley is a sweet young lady who doesn't assume and supports blogs readily. I am honoured to have her presence in this blog. May your days here be more fulfilling than ever.

Thank you for your sweet support.

2.
Starlandliu :
Starlandliu was one of the 1st few pioneers in my blog. I remembered we helped Xishi with her blog music hosting. Starlandliu is a very young and idealistic man. Patriotic and loyal. His amazing loyalty towards friends is incredible. The amount of support he has shown me is awesome! He always has my interest at heart and I am proud to be associated with him. He has an interesting blog. Sometimes there will be some new photos which he will put up and hopefully mesmerize his readers. His photography is indeed amazing for a guy at his tender age. A true potential in the area of photography. Likes to blabber history, chinese ancestors, politics and national issues. Kekeke.......

Thank you Bro! REALLY!

3.
Claudia :
Claudia is my personal friend. Known her 3 yrs. Lives near me too. An eloquent individual who has went through life the hard way. Has an extremely strong character and amazing will to live. I have enjoyed you presence here my friend. Although still owing me Liquered Berries, I still must praise you for the many advices and talk you gave me. Will always remember you. She has a very interesting blog. Apparently she has good photography skills too. The hotel pictures were simply breath-taking. Keep it up my girl. My issues are resolved. I have settled all my issues. Thank you for being there. You are a very true friend.

Will not forget what you have done.

4.
Kurakat79 :
Edwin is a level headed guy who is also a Christian. Bro, I used to be from the same church as you. Kekeke...... He has been a very supportive friend. His postings are a joy to read too. I apologise for shocking you when I closed down my blog. I have little means of explaining what happened. And yes, I will blog for myself and for my people, the readers. And of course since I am not stopping blogging, dun you dare to stop your blogging too. Do read his blog and know his mind. Cheers chap!

Yo bro, you words touch my heart.

5.
Elvina :
She blogs alot. Writes alot. Rambles alot. And yes, I will not let my fellow bloggers down. As you have said, I have experienced their love, care and concern. I do cherish them and that is why they are all getting a tribute here. You said you are neither here nor there. Its because you wanted it that way. Elvina was one of the very first few I know just when I started in the blogging world. Your constant support will be treasured and greatly missed. My friend here writes interesting articles too. For the things you have done, I will surely remember them.

Thank you so much. I could never thank you enough.

6.
Elydia :
Hi 4 Leaf Clover Girl, Thank you for coming here. Although its your first time here, if u r bored u can skim through my post and start amusing yourself with my vomit of words and pictures. Now you don't have to worry about me quitting because I will not quit. I would like to continue to post thoughts and issues which I think has some importance to me. Your kind support here albeit a new blogger, has touched me. Continue to press on and write ur blog. I will read. Cheers my friend.

Keep Blogging!

7.
Fireburn :
Fireburn, I like the background music you put on. Shows you have good taste. Kekeke.... Yes I am back. Thanks for supporting and waiting up. U have a nice alias nick. Fireburn. Hmmm..... shows alot of manliness in you. Showing your post on your departing friend from your department also reveals the softer side of you. Keep revealing more. I believe many others here wanna know more about you too! Hehehhe..... Thank you brother!

Many happy returns of the day.

8.
Bee :
Bee is a person who loves God dearly. So much so that everypart of her life exudes the charms of a christian girl. Even her blog shows much of her thoughts about God and never ceases to amaze me that she could also write so much about how God keeps moving in her life. A very sensitive girl who is also a good encourager, she expresses herself through her blog with proverbs, poetry and Godly musings. Yes you are right, people can fail me but I should not give up. There will always be others who would treasure me. I will blog for myself and my readers. Its a good thing to know you. You are like a conscience to a soul.

Thank you.

9. Jaslyn :
Girl, its a good thing you brought your bf here. I am pleasantly surprised to discover that he is my old school mate! Didn't deal with him alot then but still remember that he did exist then though very vague impressions. Jaslyn is a dedicated and loving girl. Well, that can be easily seen in her blog. Her blog revolves around her love life, Joho. She juggles worklife and love life pretty well I think from how things were described. I did note you linked me. Much to my honour young lady. Your ramblings on your blog reminds me of an everyday heartlander's thoughts as they carry out their daily duties in earnest. Your pictures which your bf took for you, they were really good. Fabulous I must say. Its like an art. I like the pictures posted up. More More More! Keep it coming my friend.

Your pictorial expressions as a model is good. Keep it up!

10. Aspiringwife :
Yo Yo Yo Annie! Thanks for coming in! I have linked you so little worries. I like your postings. Lots of pictures to allow me to devour. Its been a healthy consumption of pictorial news and I like it. Your blissful marriage is somewhat the dream of many. I choose to think you are enjoying everybit as a wife. You said something very important.
"Better Late Than Never".
Yes I truly agree with you. This sentence has utmost importance to me. Thank you for coming by to visit. I appreciate it.

Welcome us all back yeah? kekeke...

*Thank you one and all. This completes my tribute. Should I have forgotten anyone, please kindly forgive me. Like I said, I do not need alot of readers. I need true friends who would support each other in times of need. You guys have done a great thing. Thus you all deserve my tribute to you. It is with my heart-felt gratitude to all of you my fellow bloggers and my thanks many a plenty to your wonderous comments. This tribute has been logged in here forever. It has been a great joy to know all of you. I started from zero. Now I have seen all you true real blogging friends.

Thank You All Of You.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Tribute to Jade's Blog Readers Part 1

Dear friends and readers of my blog,

I take this post to pay tribute to my loyal readers and commentators. For without you all, I am a lesser man.

1. Qin Shi Huang :
Your first welcome is truly treasured. Its like stepping off the landing pod on the moon and saying, "I'm the first". Mr Emperor loves to write in chinese. Somehow, my abilities in the chinese language is quite limited. I can speak alittle though(aww... come on, sales need it). Highly recommended site for readers who love chinese writings and deep musings. A very wise man. I like the words you spurt forth (when its in English of course) because it carries a very mature aura with it. I am also glad that your link page is growing. It shows growth my friend. Keep it growing. It does create a unique pleasant effect on your interested readers. Truly. Your support for Jade's Blog has been recorded here in my online journal. I really like your musings (In English of course). So do read Qin Shi Huang's blog because this guy is knowledgeble and super cheena. It has been noted that recently he went Karaoke with fellow bloggers! Hehehe....

Thank you Brother Qin Shi Huang.

2. Spinnee :
This is a very tough lady. At least in my impression. She has an amazing number of female cartoon avatars which you see whenever she post comments. It constantly changes. I suspect she loves fashion. The music on her blog is varied and interesting. Figured maybe she likes clubbing. Or maybe in the past. Spinnee has been a very strong supporter of this blog. Although she is seen flying to so many blogs and spinning around, I have always treasured her comments for me. Yes, I roughed through a phrase which was very tough for me. Realised that it wasn't a one-stop but a journey in life. I did learn alot during this phase of my life. However so, without Spinnee's thoughtful and timely encouragement, my journey would have been alittle harder to travel on. Although dunno why no one gets linked on Spinnee's blog, she does write much about a heartlander's working life. Her blog is funky and sometimes fury is expressed through her writings. Make a friend. Make a friend with Spinnee, she will spin you round and you can't get it out of your head.

Thank you for your dedicated readings and support here. Cheers!

3. Old Beng :
Old Beng is quite a recent addition to my cohort of readers. He has got an interesting alikeness to Qin Shi Huang's Cheena blog! Its a good thing he has some Ang Mo in his entries. At least I would not be squinting my eyes, blinking at the tough cheena characters. Hehehe.... My advice to readers is go browse his blog quickly! He has got interesting dog pics and BLOGGER's PICS! They went Karaoke with a bunch of others. Go find our who they are as quite a few are mentioned here. Saw Xishi squirming too..... hehehe..... Old Beng asked me if he could link my blog to his. The truth is, I think its any blogger's honour if their blogs were chosen to be linked. I dun even ask for permission. Rather, if the blogger has a problem with my linking, then let him raise it with me and I will take it down. But I would like the world to read about my fellow blogger's ramblings and musings. Keep it up Beng!

Thanks for linking. Keep on inking!

4. Hiao Auntie :
I am so touched by what HA said. She rushed over the moment someone told her my blog reopened. Your actions speaks louder than words can mean. I take a bow to you. I will not do any more disappearing acts. My magic tricks were confiscated by the support of so many people around me. I am sorry for saddening anyone and making anyone worried, especially Hiao Auntie. Because you have said it, now I know. I learnt from someone that "You must say it, then I will know". Another point you raised was about my emotional weakness. Yes, I agree. Weak I will be when I fail. But iron-clad strong I will be when my wind blows. This is me, my dear friend. Its hard to try not to be who I am. I have to learn to manage my emotions and if I dun, I know I will be hurt. This is life. I have learnt to accept it the hard way. My pool table is definitely open to you guys to come and play someday. Dun worry, chalk included. Would u like 1 rack 1 beer? Maybe we arrange this somewhere in Dec 2005. Nov alittle too rush. Private message me if there is any alternative suggestion. Once again, thank you for your immense remarkable concern.

Appreciate what you did more than you would think.

5. Elaine :
Elaine is a Uni student still struggling throught her exams now. She keeps a blog and documents down even cooking recipes. She is Broken Promise Valerie's good friend and is a constant source of inspiration to Broken Promise. Her youth has not diminished her maturity and while her blog exhibits that trait, her lamentations have good reasons. Knew her through Valerie. They all seems one big gang. Hehehe...... And thank you for coming here when the news spread like wild-fire. Your effort has been treasured. Hope readers will go to her blog and encourage her in her studies! Dun give up! You are doing just fine.

Keep going girl!

6. Ghost :
Ghost is probably the best romance novelist I know. The way he writes his sentimental musings leaves the reader desiring to hear more and more. No, we definitely do not fault him even though he laments his true life story. Its a deliciously tasty storyline. He does not rattle too long leaving readers uninterested (except for the Nigerian Scam, sianz.....) and his amazing ability to keep readers glued to the monitor screen constantly hungering for more and almost desiring it like drugs. My Brother, You are great. Really. Your blog is highly recommended and I do recommend it although you very bad, didn't link me. hehehe....

Thanks for sticking around. Appreciated.

7. Broken Promise :
Valerie, thank you for being a friend. I cannot thank u enough. I enjoy looking at your pics posted in ur blog. You are a frank person. Volatile too sometimes. Your blog has many links with pics. Interesting. You are a good picture thief. Hehehe..... I will always pay attention to your blog. Keep it up. Wanna see more information and pictures. You sure got lotsa spies around. Your absolute support shown for me is awesome. You are like my supporting juggernaunt. Means Big Supporter.

I cannot thank you enough.

8. 美女琦琦 :
I forgot how you came into my blog. I figured from someone else's blog. Thank you for welcoming me back into blogging world. Its kinda fun sometimes ain't it? Just realised you are Singaporean who is interested in Japanese! That explains your blog the way it is. I really thought you were Japanese! You have joined Spinnee and Auntie Hiao in having cutesy female cartoon avatars. You appear lively and young indeed. Keep you bubbliness intact. Sooner or later its gonna rub off on us all. Readers will find her blog colourful and like a little christmas fantasy land. Your blog has one of the most interesting sidebars any blog ever had. Keep it up young lady! Cheers.

Thank you for coming.

9. Lydia Hedy
Your incredible support and encouragement is my pride. Your words linger with me. Your guidance has become the light in my darkness.

This lady has extremely great amount of influence in my life. Probably the most influence. I respect her a great deal and know her personally. In fact more than personally. She is my Elder Sister. Thus she wields the arcane power of influence. Owed alot to her. For her wisdom and sharing spirit. I am proud to be your brother. Words are not enough to summarise my gratitude for all you have done for me.

Thank you for so much that which you have done.

*I will stop here for now. Too much to dedicate and write. I need to rest. I do feel good giving my time to my fellow bloggers. At least I dedicated 1 post to them all, I would feel glad in my heart. I badly need to rest. The rest of the bloggers not mentioned, pls do wait up for my next post. It will come. Just that, I am dead tired. I write with honest truth. Till then, thank you for so much. Cheers.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Opening Ceremony

Thank you so much for all your patience, loyalty and understanding.

The support of many loving friends have poured their potions of the reincarnating Phoenix upon the lifeless body of the falcon. The Falcon now lives. Jade Falcon. I carry with me the unceasing support from many friends, some whom have never left comments in my blog but do actually read it. I have received calls and messages, even physical confrontation about why I stopped blogging. Only then did I realise that many were reading.

I will now open the comments to even anonymous readers. So that my friends can leave their comments. And please do leave your comments my friends!!! Hehehe..... It will be logged in forever. And a piece of you will be left with me, and thus I will carry it through my days. Comments will be moderated if a comments war breaks out. Kekeke.... wish for World Peace okie?

From now on, I will no longer host music on this blog. Most people would have MP3 played in their computers and laptops anyway. So save the efforts there. However, I would still like to host videos! Cool I think. Along with the videos, I have also done some minor restructuring to my blog and hope it's still pleasing to the eye.

Keeping this blog neat and tidy is important. Clutter makes things look messy.

*Supporters and Readers, please kindly leave a comment worthy of mentioning if you would like because I am going to collate it all and give all your comments with credit, a lenghty mention in the next post. Hope all you guys and gals do join in the fun and see how I would post it, okie??!! Opportunities will be given to all to post until SUNDAY night, 20th Nov! So the next update will be Monday morning!

Thank you so much everyone once again. For all your love, care and concern. It is with the greatest heart-felt pleasure that I write again. For without you all, I am a lesser man. Thank you.


Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Blog Closure - Thank U Everyone

To all my Dearest Readers,

I owe u all an apology. I am sorry. I really am. I have to end this blog. I cannot continue anymore. Something happened. Need to be alone. I will leave all these contents still intact. However, I will no longer post anymore here. There will be no more updates too.

I am so so so sorry........ I had meant to continue telling my story..... but now I cannot.

Gratitude To :

1. Kelly Firebolt : Thank u for being a friend. A real one too. Keep practising ur pool. Maybe someday we can play again at Pool Haven or Pool Junction. Did I ever mention I love ur voice? U really sound fantastic on the phone. Dun drink too much wine. Thank u.

2. Claudia Delynn Lin : Thanks for knowing me 3 years. Although I didn't ever get my Liquered Berries, still it was so wonderful to have known u. I have always enjoyed the chats we had. Ur exuberant chattering is truly interesting. U make me laugh too. Stay cheerful pls. Thank u.

3. Xishi : I had fond memories of Starlandliu and me helping u with the music hosting. U were the 1st few I linked here. Dun be so mellow and melancholic ok? Be cheerful and know that u r such a lovable girl. Many guys await u. Do help others with their blog music. Thank u.

4. Very Precious Valerie aka Broken Promise : I am sorry my friend. Really am. I never did mean to upset u. I am not a worthy friend to have. But U have been such a joy to know. Ur constant comments support is absolutely FABULOUS! I am already so overjoyed to know u constantly check my blog. I am so sorry now. Take great care. Thank u.

5. Spinnee : U r really everywhere. U r a big sister in this bloggin community. People respect u alot in the blogging circle in case u dun know. I m so glad knowing u although I have never seen u. Wish I had. Sigh. Dun learn bike. Ur constant support is truly appreciated. Really. I treasure it. Thank u.

6. Kurakat79 : Keep blogging bro ya?? Dun stop. Add more stuffs to ur blog okie? Thanks for being around. Thank u.

7. Ghost : I can no longer hunt u down Ghost. Its been fun having u around. U write very very tempting love novels. I like it. Keep up ur great writing. Thank u.

8. Starlandliu : Thank u so much bro. Although u r young, u sure have lotsa life. We started out in this blogging thing together. I will always remember u. Thank u for the many fights too. Do remember to brush up ur English. Ur Country needs u to be good in this language. Ur SUPERB support is AMAZING!!!! Thank u.

9. Bee : U r a devoted Christian. I was too. U have done well. But cool alittle on the use of scriptures okie girl? U r an interesting personality. Christian men should find u a joy to be with. Take care. Thank u.

10. Elaine : University Babe, Valerie didn't like me calling u babe... i wonder why? kekeke...... Study hard. Long way to go. Appreciate ur support in this blog. U can cook well. If only I had a chance to taste the marvellous dishes u did. Thank u.

11. Hiao Auntie : Auntie Agony, I am sorry. I am glad u enjoy reading my blog. But I need to go away. U have been SO SO SO supportive! Be that SUPERSTAR BLOGGER with AURA okie? Hope 1 day I can see u! Always wanted to be with a celeb. Blogging celeb. U loh.... Thank u for ur support. Thank u.

12. Foxy Curls : I like to play games as much as u do. Thank u for popping by every now and then. Get a good job if u can. Airlines and Car lines ain't as great as we all make it out to be. Ur presence lighted up my blog. Thank u.

13. Fireburn : Hey didn't get to know u deeply bro. U are quite an outspoken person. Continue to be that way. Ur avatar is really cute and nice. Appreciate u coming here. Thank u.

14. Annie : Do enjoy married life. Its definitely a marvellous feeling. I can see u r happy. But dun buy KIA. Really. Thank u.

15. Qin Emperor : U r a wise man. Amongst the many bloggers, ur words seemed most wise. I like the way u look at life. Was always glad u supported my ramblings so much. Will remember u well. Thank u.

16. Xiaoxin : U r a very cherry person! Hyundai is a good car rite? Take care and thanks for coming. I am sorry for disappointing u. Sorry. Thank u.

17. Geraldine : Sorry gotta close. Study hard. Thanks so much too. Thank u.

18. Pearlyn : U were the 1st person who showed me what a blog is. I had wanted to show u how much I have learnt. Thanks for reading. But I need to stop. Ur constant support is TRULY treasured and grateful.

19. Jaslyn : Thank u for dropping by every now and then. Find a good job. Ur bf is talented. Thank u.

20. BlueApple : Hey, u r so adorable! Thank u for visting my blog so often. Thanking u from the bottom of my heart. Thank u!

21. Last but not least, Elvina : I dun know how to thank u enough. It started from you. Now I end with you. U have been a good friend. I m grateful for the wonderous things that has happened in my life because of you. U do mean a hell lot to me. What matters now is the bottom line. The Bottom Line. Take care of yourself. Thank u.


Its been a wonderful journey. Though short as it may be, I have treasured every little comment you guys gave. If I missed out thanking anyone, pls accept my humble apologies. I did wanna continue writing but I can't. I can no longer. Need to go away. Something happened that I cannot talk about. This blog has no more meaning for me. The very real reason it was created for, has now ceased to exist. Back to my own world of solitude.

With a bow, I thank everyone once again for reading and participating in my blog. Its been a great journey.

THANK YOU AND FAREWELL!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

A Level Days

Music Of The Day : O-Zone - DragoStea Din Tei (Chicken Little Song ???)

Firstly I'd like to thank Elvina for her kind efforts to get me the crazy Chicken Little Song! Here it is! Sounds cool!! Can u guys hear it? Testing new method of music embed. Great Song girl!
My continued ramblings has got nothing to do with the pictures here once again. jus adding some pictures to spice up the post. Cheers!
While attempting to write out my life here, I am considering whether to end this blog when my posting is complete. My history up till my age now will be told here in as much truth as possible. It would probably take another 12 or 13 posts, maybe..... then may end this blog. Coz there will be too much truth being told thus the need to end the blog. Everything should end before December I think. Not too sure yet but guess its a likely decision.
Ok now to history proper.
1993 - 1995
Admitted into Seletar Institute at the age of 17 to 19. My tasking is to complete my A-Levels. Quite a few areas were concurrently happening. Let me try to take you through as comprehensively as possible.
Studies
I did commerce with Economics, Management of Business and Principles of Accounting for my A Level subjects. 3 AO subjects were Additional Mathematics, Chinese Language and General Paper. 1st year was remarkable for me because I really studied hard. The feeling of defeat stung so badly that I stay very low profile in the school. Just merely concentrated in my studies. Wanted to prove myself something.
My favourite subject then other than General Paper was Economics. At the end of the first year, I was one of the top students in the school. There was only 1 student who scored A for Economics and that person was me. I was very motivated by my O Level defeats and Helen Chong's amazing teachings. She also taught me that there isn't such a thing as "irregardless". Only "regardless". Learnt so much from her. Overall yr 1 and 2 was a good year for me in terms of my studies.
It was in 3rd year which mattered that I, again, lost focus. This time is because of a heartache..... a broken promise..... a broken heart. My studies plunge downhill. There was no return. I could not handle it. When healing started, my studies were a goner.... so sad.
National Writing Competition
In year 2 of my school life, 1994, I join a National Writing Competition. I represented Seletar Institute and wrote "Protect The East Asian Seas". There were top 3 prizes and 12 consolations up for grabs. The entries poured in with more than 600 essays. I clinched one of the consolation prizes. It was an exhirating feeling and I felt on top of the world. Won another "crappy" book which was of a higher value but heaven knows where I threw the book. Kekeke... The prize wasn't important, the award was. The school recognised me as someone uniquely low profile but starting to stand out amongst the others.
Of course it started with my reputation in Economics. People started to know who I am but I didn't know who they were. One of such a person is my future 2nd gf. We will touch on that in later post.
So although my studies flopped once again..... I didn't feel as much pain as I felt during O Levels. I had achieved full A levels. It wasn't too bad but definitely isn't good enough for the local University. Eventually I did decide to go do a private Degree Programme after my National Service (NS). So what led to the decline of my studies this time round? We will come to that.
Sports
In school, I was still very devoted to church activities. It still took alot of my time away from my studies. In year 2 onwards I started to go high key in sports like Basketball and Football. Could not stay low profile like what I initially wanted to. So as you can read, my time was already wasted away by sports and church activities. Still making the same mistake as usual. Its like I have not learnt from the mistake I made in the past. The pain was evident in year 1 of my course but as time healed my wounds, yr 2 of my studies onwards became quite a torture.
Of course a bright spark was that I received a Certificate of Commendation for good performance in Basketball A Division in which I played as a centre! Keke.....
I still played football but due to a more intense involvement in Basketball, thus my football slacked. Hey, in those days there were Michael Jordan. He was the hero of all sportsmen then! So loved to play Basketball then. My sporting achievements were still as good in Seletar Institute.
Motorcycle Accident
I must mention that I was 17 when I got my motorcycle class 2B license. Got myself a bike. Started with a LC then an RD then finally a Piaggio!! Piaggio is a cute scooter! Or I should say its a BIG scooter! Rode that bike for some 6 years. In those days poor, bo bian..... had to ride bike around. It was kinda fun. Had 2 bike accidents. One I was pillion while my elder brother was the rider. Two, I skidded in a carpark area near a friend's place. Both landed in hospital and was treated.
The 1st accident, I was carrying several boxes of mooncakes while my brother rode the bike with me as pillion. We came to a cross junction at Paya Lebar road and Bartley Road. He collided with an Alsatian Dog!!! Rammed right into it. I was thrown from the bike, with the boxes of mooncakes still tightly held, onto my brother while we both fell down suffering injuries instanteously. My brother suffered alot of light wounds. Lots of scratches which was superficial but very painful. I suffered lesser wounds but my wounds were very serious. The worse was when the accident stopped.... I laid on the ground. I realised my right feet is inside the Alsatian's mouth! It was biting me so as to endure the immense pain it was feeling. Like how a pregnant women would bite onto something. It sank two teeth into my feet. Blood gushed out profusely..... passerbys rushed onward to assist. Lifted us to the side road while the dog limped away howling in pain. Literally.
The Ambulance and Police arrive within minutes. the police kinda didn't believe we rammed into a dog but the dog bite and many road witnesses countered their disbelief. I should have bought 4D hoh? Underage la....... we were evacuated to Tan Tock Seng Hospital. My elder brother cried. He felt awful that he got me into this mess. He was someone who took pride in his riding skills. Well I must say, he's good. Really. I had only a few injuries but very very deep ones. So mine was considered more serious than my brother's. It seems that pillions always suffer more in bike accidents. Dun ride bike. Serious. Take it from me. So it was one accident that was strongly embedded in my mind. Geezz..... but I didn't grow to be afraid of it. Used my abilities to service my relationship then you see. There would be more in future post. Enough for now.
Next Post
These are small issues compared to the next thing I am gonna talk about in my next post. My 1st gf relationship with me. Della. I will talk about how I conducted my relationship with her, the temptations, the behaviour, the conduct, the acts, the betrayal and the inevitable crumbling of my world there and then. It deserves an entire post all by itself.
"Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers"
"All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts"

Monday, November 07, 2005

My Secondary Days : Downfall

Video Of The Day : Guang Liang - Tong Hua

1989 - 1992

My Secondary School Days

I did academically very well in Primary 6 but somehow or rather, the decline of my studies were evident in the years leading up to sec 4. It was very clearly attributed to 4 main factors. Student's Council, Sports, Church and Love. Will touch on these areas soon.

*The pictures I put up here have absolutely no relevance to this topic today. Its just some pictures I didn't have time to put up last time. So just look to enjoy while reading*

In Sec 1, the Student's Council approached me and invited me for a "chat" session. I had thought it sounds fun and thus I went. I was seated right in the centre of a room facing a panel of Student's Council. There were 5 councillors posing questions to me. There and then I realised what this was all about. They wanted me to join the Student's Council in Maris Stella High. I was actually a Prefect in Primary School. I was to be promoted to Head Prefect during early primary 6 but I quit because of studies as well as the fact that I didn't like the red arm-band around my left biceps then. Stupid reasons but yes I did quit. Prefect Board's in-charge whom we called Mistress, urged me to reconsider my decision then, I didn't reconsider.

Thus in sec 1, I didn't wanna join the Council because it was alot of work. However, The Council's President who is 2 years my senior kept urging me to join although I showed a reluctant self. I was curious then why would they keep asking me to join when many others were interested. They remarked that they have heard of my reputation I garnered in Primary school and were extremely impressed with my performance and really wanted me on board the Council. After much persuasion, against my better judgement, I decided to lend a helping hand and joined the council. I was then a Student's Councillor until end of sec 3. Responsibilities piled up with more and more work to be done. It surely did take up alot of my time.

I mentioned this little area of my life because it showed what sort of a person I was when I was young. Full of moral and ethical idealogy with a tremendous sense of responsibility. This would in turn show you how I have evolved over the years until now that I am 29. I was the sort of kid that teachers loved and cherished. Popular in school as you might call it. Being a true blue school team athletics member somehow represented eliticism. A class of superiority above my peers.

Frequently, I held positions of responsibilities ranging from a councillor, class monitor, committee chairman and captain of football team. I have laden myself with too much responsibilities in which would eventually lead to my downfall. Sad to admit but true. I felt proud in those days that I was so demanded and popular amongst many. Its was somehow like an honour to be recognised by so many. Little did I know all these were more than I can chew.

My time was further stretched by commitments in the church. I was baptised when I was 12 by my sole decision. I had chosen a name to compliment my existing name. I had asked God which name would he like me to have. Isaiah. My lawful name is Daniel. Isaiah became my baptism name. Thus from then on, I am Isaiah Daniel. I realised most people had problems pronouncing this name, so I would use Daniel if I like the new person I was getting to know or I would use Isaiah if I didn't like knowing the person. It was because they would have problems remembering that name!

In the church, His Sanctuary Service, I was with the Youth group as a Youth Coordinator. It was made up of teenagers from 13 to 19 then. I joined the Youth Coordinator's course and graduated there to be a youth leader. I had literally run a group with 7 members under me. My group was then called "PURE HEART". I called it so. Loved it. In those days in church, we organised mission trips and many camping excursions and group outings. I was always heavily involved. I loved the church life and of course God. Aspects of Christianity were extremely evident in my life. I know its a relationship and not a religion to me. In the house-church or what some would call it, cell group, I was also the guitarist. Many times I had led my house-church comprising of about 15 members to worship. This is why most of the songs I know on my guitar are christian church songs. My favourite is "Into Your Courts". Oh, I could pluck that piece. Kekeke.....

My friday nights were taken up by house church. Saturday by Youth Ministry. Sunday by church. Weekdays were taken up by Student's Council, School Team Athletics and Football. My downfall as you can see, was my steady decline in my studies. It was still not my final blow until sec 3 when I tasted my first relationship.

There were quite a few girls in church who liked me then. I was very potential and loved God more than most. My heart had shown it and my deeds have proven it. But I remained single until someone came along and stole my heart. Little did I know, it was an older woman.

Della was 3 years older than me. I was 15 and she was 18. She was just gonna graduate from ITE and were to begin working as a secretary. She lived in Bukit Batok while I live in Serangoon. We were miles and miles apart. She liked me alot as with alot of others. Somehow there was this time we went for mission trip in Kota Tinggi, Malaysia that we had ample opportunities to chat. We got to know each other very very well. When we returned to Singapore, we were very close. We were so close that others started speculating us as a couple. I was very tall and mature looking then so it kinda worked out although there was quite an age gap there. Believe it or not, we were together 3 years.

During that 3 years, it must have been a toil on her. She was working. I was studying. She was a budding and growing girl who had dreams of having a better life. I was just finishing O Levels then. I still had to go through A Levels and probably University if I was smart enough. The relationship ended during my A level days when I was 17. We went on 3 years. Sighz....But I will leave the breakup story to the next post of my life.

Thus the final nail to the coffin came in the form of a new first relationship love life. So much time was spent in Sports, Council, Church and my new love life. My studies went downhill and eventually flopped. I knew myself. I admit now where I went wrong. When I was that age, I just could not see the whole picture. Why the heck do you think I am attempting to keep a low profile now? So that I would have more time to do the things I love. I have lost out much then.

I knew I was not a stupid person. Just didn't spend the required amount of time cherishing my studies. The only subject I concentrated on was English. I loved English. Regardless of whether it is the spoken language or written language although my spoken is alot stronger, I loved it. I entered my first English Creative writing competition in secondary school and won 2nd Prize for Poems Category. The prize was a book from the School. It was titled, The Wave (Some crappy brain-wash story). It was memorable then. It had meant my interest in the English language was paying off.

There. With my strength in English, it simply wasn't enough. I floundered in practically most subjects. It was really hard juggling so much activities with so little time. Eventually O Levels came. Results were really bad. Really bad. 21 points for 6 subjects with 18 for 5 subjects. Could only get into Marine engineering course at the Poly or Centralised Institutes for A Levels. Finally, I was posted to Seletar Institute to do my 3 yr A level course. It was my 7th choice.

I remembered vividly, I cried and cried and cried. I lamented against God. Why? Why? Why? With so much that I had put in, I had achieved so little. I remembered crying myself, tears pouring while I was sitting by myself on my couch all alone in the early afternoon from school. I was holding and strumming my guitar whilst my tears wet the guitar. The results slip in my hand had gotten wet. I cried my heart out. I felt my future was slipping from my hands. It was the very 1st time I felt that God wasn't there.

Eventually I still had to pick myself up and move on. Of course there were other things that were happening concurrently in my secondary school days but these were the stuffs that deserve the most mention. As you can read, my life story isn't just about proud achievements but it is also about my downfall in some areas of my life.

There was one bright spark though. I became a Qualified Diver. Open water Diver. Qualified Canoeist. Outward Bound Participant. Gold standards in Physical Fitness Tests. Also a qualified school debater, English of course.

The next post, I will talk more about how the 1st relationship I had, went. It was just heart-wrenching even thinking about it. What the heck...... sighz..... Since its over, it has becomed just a story, so until then...... hope you guys know me better. Apologies if my entries bore anyone to death. Its my life. My unique experiences.

Till then....... So long.......

"Failure isn't failure unless you don't learn from it"

" When you affirm big, believe big and pray big, big things happen"

Friday, November 04, 2005

Things In The Past

Music Of The Day : Kevin Kern - Sundial Dreams (Piano Piece - One Of The Very Best!)
Video Of The Day : 蔡依林 ~ Love Love Love
Here is an animation which I promised someone that I will post up. Its about a Squirrel. Squirrel ranting about Hurricane Katrina. Damn Hilarious. Listen to the Squirrel Rant. Very cute.

Squirrel Ranting on Hurricane Katrina

Most people would have played PhotoHunt at the arcades and amusement centres island wide. Its a game in which one has to spot the difference. Well, here is one such game. Spot the obvious difference. How good are you?

Spot The Difference

Ok, so now I guess you must have spotted the obvious differences I suppose? Keke.... Dun need any answers from me right?

From now on, I will post articles regarding my history. I feel a need to document down some of the things that have happened in the past because maybe someday, who knows, I may have amnesia and would have forgotten all that had happened.

Things In The Past

1988

I was in Primary 6. Maris Stella High School. It was a year of many happenings to me.

Studies :
I had 4 subjects, primarily English, Mandarin, Maths and Science. My poorest subject is actually Maths. Many ridiculed me for a lack of talent in arithmatic then. Frankly, its just that I wasn't putting in the kind of effort that I should put in. I was too deeply engrossed in athletics and sports.

I remembered personally buying 4 assessment books on Maths alone and sitting in the hall, grinding myself and tormenting my soul with much of my daily time spent drilling in mathematic equations. There were only 2 months to exams. I gave myself no excuse and just buried my head into it.

In the end, when the results were out I was pleasantly surprised that I scored an A*! Quite unexpected since I was always doing borderline results. Had 3As and 1 A*, aggregate was 240. SAP standard was then 250. I was 3rd in class then. It was a good proud result.

Before the results were released, I opted for Raffles Institution, since I didn't get SAP standard, I was posted to 3rd choice school, St Andrew's Secondary (2nd choice was Catholic High). My big mistake was that I didn't even opt my own secondary school!

Went to St Andrew's Secondary for 1 week. There the School Team Athletics Coach came to look for me. Hearing my reputation that which I have garnered in the field events, he had hoped that I would join their athletics cohort. I agreed........ (Oh I had other plans in mind). I applied to Maris Stella High in the hope that they would take me back as their student. As I recollected, the principal glared and reprimanded me for not supporting my old school and that I was so foolish to have chosen other schools. Looking dejected, my head lowered.

My principal said,"You will be put on waiting list. There will be no special treatment for your case. You will just have to wait."

My hopes lingered and as days past, my hopes faded. Then suddenly one day, a school officer called my mother and gave us the good news that I have been granted entry back into Maris Stella Secondary 1!

This turn of event was important to me because I was a full fledge Maris Stella boy for 11 years. Thus this school did help to mould the person I am now and therefore deserves mention.

Sports :
I was extremely athletical in my young days. 12 yrs old I was already 1.68m tall. I participated in Sports Events since I was 9 yrs old in primary 3. Had a love for the games! 3 medals or trophys would be the usual number that I would always win each year. I was good in High Jump, Shot Put, Long Jump and 4x100m Dash.

This particular year was special because I broke my school High Jump Event record. In fact, I did so well, my record qualified for National High Jump. From then on, I was recruited into The School Athletics Sports Team. I trained hard. Very soon I had become a very tan fellow and very thin too. When Nationals came, I participated alongside some 40 jumpers from all over schools in Singapore. I came in 3rd. Won a trophy which had a very sensational "Ting......" sound when you hit it. I treasured it because it really wasn't all that easy. All the training had paid off well and it was a good justification of results considering all the time I had spent.

Overnight, I became a popular boy in school.

Football :
This sport deserves special mention because it was the one thing that took away most of my time. I played the game with absolute tenacity and determination. My favourite football team then was Liverpool. Loved John Aldridge and Ian Rush in those days. Maris Stella High never had a football team. I was the pioneer. My batch in primary 6 started the football revolution.

I played as a midfielder. Used to dribble the ball around my house wherever I went, thus improving my dribbling and touch skills tremendously. I was then noted to be a tough player. Free kick and long shots were the kind of speciality skills I had. We had inter-class competition in which I got for my class, Liverpool football jerseys. My classmates were ecstatic. We raised some $300 bucks to get the jerseys while I topped up the rest of the amounts. I captained my class as well as my school team. played football from Primary 6 to Secondary 4. In 5 years of school tournament, it was a really fortunate thing to have won 4 championships. Had the collection of trophys as a strong momento which always did bring a smile to me. In that primary 6 era, we played in MILO Cup and although we lost, it was a good competitive exposure we got.
I would always fondly remember what football meant to me then and always.
Lovelife :
Hmmm.... okie, the interesting part now. I belonged to a church then. His Sanctuary Services. It was an up and rising church in those days. A Charismatic church. I was deeply involved then. They had sunday school for kids 12 and under. I was a Sunday school leader amongst my peers. There were a male leader and a female leader.
The female leader was a tall, amazingly beautiful young lady who was 12 yrs old too. She had flawless white skin complexion and the most angelic face I have ever seen even up till today. Her family were all missionaries from South Carolina. Yes, she's an American caucasian. She spoke in the most touching sweet demure voice one could ever wanna hear. She is a very devoted christian who loved God. She was my 1st crush, my first puppy love and the 1st gal whom I ever fell for.
Made a big mistake though. Being a hot-blooded youth, I had liked her so much that I wanted to express myself to her. I didn't know what to expect. Decided to just try telling her about it. Damn.... it was difficult. My big mistake was: NEVER BRING A GIRL TO A FASTFOOD RESTAURANT TO EXPRESS UR FEELINGS TO HER WITH UR FRIEND!!!
In all stupidity, I had brought along a male thai school friend called, Jing Song, to booster my courage. The damn BurgerKing restaurant played some stupid corny music. I went for the sucide kill. I expressed...... She looked stunned. Though pleasantly surprised, she looked shocked too. I had realised that when a gal appears shocked when one expresses himself, then that's it. Game over. If the gal blushes or smiles broadly, then I would know she reciprocates the same idea and feeling. My idiotic male friend sat down there laughing like a hyena..... (wanted to slaughter him then..... hehe...) Of course I was turned downed. I didn't have her picture for keepsake. But I still vividly remember how she looked like till now.
The stupid thing was, I cried for 2 years. Yes... 2 whole damn long years. Call me stupid, call me dumb, whatever. That was how much I loved someone. Even my elder sister thought I had gone too deep into my liking for her. My sister agreed that Cynthia Shatterly was then the most angelic person we have ever met. Beautiful and with the most remarkable character we have ever seen. 2 long years of rejection...... damn dumb. Young la.... what to do? At least it shows when I love, I love for real and I am loyal.
This particular post chronicles my most significant year during my childhood days. The year in which I remember so many things happening. There were of course pleasant rewards from results to trophys but there were also heartaches in my love life. I had enjoyed myself very much in my days of youth. Stupid behaviour coupled with a passion to live life to the max had been the story of my life in primary 6, 1988.
"Time and Tide wait for no man"
"Male by Birth, Man by Choice" (Pastor Kong, City Harvest said this too!)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Sigh

Video Of The Day : 陶喆 - 爱我还是他
*The video is very very very very very very nice. Speaks of my mood. Pls be patient to wait for it to load and watch it whole. Very good. Very romantic too. Top recommendation.
Today no music. My moment of silence for He Xueli.
It has been a sad time. At least for people in my industry. Sigh.

Death of a Mazda Salesgirl, He Xueli, 22 yrs old. Along Paya Lebar Road. I saw the wreakage. Horrible. Mazda MX 5. Totally crushed. The MX5, according to the papers, lost control, flipped after a deviated collision into the opposing road's on-coming BMW and hit a van. The 24 yr old driver walked out himself quite alive, now on bail whilst his careless driving cost the life of a beautiful salesgirl. She was barely 4 months in this trade. For a car to hit an on-coming car and FLIP, then the car must have been travelling quite fast. I know because I travel on the exact same stretch of road every single day for the last 4 and half years. If one drives within the speed limit, this would NEVER have happened, at least not this sort of devastation. A customer cost the life of a service staff. Sigh.

A sad time for all Car Industry personnels. Customers should not presume they have the right to drive a car in any fashion they want. Even test-drive personnel's life is at risk. Sigh.

I am growing quite weary and tired. I am very tired mentally. Just wanna retreat and hide in my shell, just like Blue Apple's blog. Hide in my shell. My dear friend Elvina recently went on a solitary holiday in Malaysia and had lotsa fun learning about Kelong and Fishing. You guys can ask her for kelong and holiday tips. I need a break. I wanna go overseas but I know I cannot. Sigh.

When market is good, I should not go because need to do business. When market is bad, I also should not go as I need to work harder. What the heck?! That's why I have always stayed around in Singapore. The last time I went overseas was 2004 Oct with my ex-gf coz she was in a really bad mood and shape, thus decided to go to cheer her up. I am always putting others before myself. Thus now I wanna retreat and hide myself. Just do what I like to do. Sigh.

Girls, there really are many guys out there. Most guys like knowing girls. Some good, some not so good but mostly, they are lonely too. The guys need you ladies as much as you ladies want companionship. Broken Promise had a list of pointers in her blog stating what men look for in a woman and I must say, its all true. At least to a majority of men. Then again, being a realist myself, I know there is more to love than just beauty. I cannot discount the fact that beauty does have a very strong effect on men, but what sustains a relationship is a beautiful character. I just hope every one just pick up their bloody guts and express. Sigh.

Physically I have been very tired thus blogging lesser these days. Haven't been exactly very happy. Nothing much to be happy about. While many relationships out there seem to be in turmoil, at least they have each other to argue, cheer and talk. I have only my WORLD OF WARCRAFT and of course POOL. I am tired. Very tired. Maybe I should just go to slumber land and talk to Chou Gong. Sigh.

"An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men"

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are"